50 Days of Remembering 50 years Day #4

Nine Months

It's not what you are thinking. Nine months is how long we knew each other before we got married. I will tell you, yes, we were in love but in nine months we also did not fully know each other.

I remember the first time I saw George really lose his temper--it was after we were married. After we were married, he learned just how poor I was at housekeeping but pretty good at cooking. After we were married, we learned all the little tweaks about life that one liked one way and another liked a different way, whether it be squeezing toothpaste a certain way, folding clothes certain ways, hanging clothes on hangers right or left-handed or other quirks.

Even if we had lived together before marriage which the world now embraces (but our faith doesn't agree), life's circumstances shape people and we all change. Parenthood is a learning process and surely changes a person. Different jobs shape people, loss of loved ones, health issues, and so many more of life's passages change us.

There were times when being married was hard. Life gave us many obstacles that we didn't always agree on the way to get around them, but we hung in there and we got through them one way or another. He would tell you I always got my way, but I would say differently for sure. There were arguments and hardships. I just want to let anyone know that being married 50 years is no easy task. It's not that two people are the absolute perfect fit in every way, but they learn how to work with each other with their different strengths and weaknesses. They learn the ebb and flow of the waves of life to navigate the course together. To be truthful, sometimes I did wonder if our ship was going to survive the storms.

I guess this one is a public service announcement. Hang in there. One piece of advice that I would give is to not take everything so seriously or "don't sweat the small stuff". There are so many big things to get through, let the little slide. And we have found humor is a great healer and a great way to overcome little things.

I remember the time that George was annoyed that I had not picked up the correct type of peanut butter. He liked crunchy and I had gotten creamy (which, of course, I prefer--we have our differences). It was breakfast and I had just made scrambled eggs. He reiterated so I would get it right next time, "I like crunchy peanut butter, crunchy cookies (not chewy ones)."

I plopped his plate of eggs on the table and said, "Fine, next time I'll make your eggs crunchy!" A moment that could have snowballed, was turned into laughter. Laughter has healing powers, as long as not at anyone's expense. We have had a lot of laughs in 50 years. 

"Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the wilderness these forty years, to humble and test you in order to know what was in your heart." Deuteronomy 8:2

Our 48th "Panniversary" or 48 years of standing the test of time in the kitchen and in marriage

 

This pot has been in use for 48 years. It’s part of a set of six, plus lids, that have lived with us from the day we were married. We bought a Saladmaster set at the Big E a little over a month before our wedding day. It was our first big purchase together.

We remember my parents reaction when they found out how much we spent on them. They obviously questioned our financial decision and perhaps worried about our future. The salesman’s presentation was just too convincing. Over the years, we have seen others in our circle of friends replace their pots and pans a number of times. We pat ourselves on the back for the purchase that has remained faithful all these years. It was a good investment after all.

Now there have been times when we have burnt things in the pot and really wondered if we were going to get it clean again. We scrubbed and soaked and scrubbed and soaked. Some have been difficult stains that took time and patience. Usually a baking soda paste does the trick and the set still remains in great condition, not exactly just like new, but in very good condition.

As I was scrubbing one of these pots recently, I was thinking that this pot represents our marriage. It was all shiny and new and without any scratches in the beginning. The handle was a bright black, not dull like now. We all start out our married lives, all shiny and new.

Over time, there have been situations where things have not gone well, and work has to be put into scrubbing and making things as close to new as possible. Sometimes it means soaking and scrubbing and more of the same. A loosened handle may have needed tightening, which was easily fixed. The quality and sturdiness of the pots (our relationship) has helped them to remain functioning and sometimes it amazes me how well they have stood the trials of time. Sometimes we feel it’s a lesson to others, “So there! We made it after all.” And other times, you can look at the pots and say, "Wow, they don’t look like they have been through anything, except for aging, they don’t look like they have been in use for 48 years."

Today we celebrate 48 years of using these pots and pans. 48 years of making delicious dishes and some not so good dishes. 48 years of service to our family and friends. 48 years of cleaning up messes, 48 years of being strong and faithful. Today we will probably not be using these dishes as we go out to celebrate our 48^th  wedding anniversary, but they will always remind us of our first purchase and as it turns out, symbolic purchase of our lives together.